Purpose, parenting and prominence
Hi Friends,
I’m back!
If you’ve been wondering why I’ve been quiet lately, never fear, I’ve been on a break from writing for a month while on paternity leave. That’s right; we’ve had a little baby boy called Ethan.
As you can imagine, becoming a Dad was always bound to spark some Thoughts on Purpose, and in the lead up to this change I was particularly curious to see if any of the ways we think about living a purposeful life and finding our vocation would become redundant in the face of this big change.
I was a bit afraid of it actually.
I worried that it all might wash away into insignificance under the tidal waves of nappies, sleep-deprivation and farty parties.
I mean, when we imagine our “life to the full”—a life that is overflowing with meaning, purpose and fulfilment—we don’t usually think of eating dinners with one-hand before it gets cold, or devising the most efficient method to stem the flow of a poonami.
Side-note: after preparing myself for the worst, parenthood has not been at all like I expected and so far and I have been delightfully surprised.
But you get my point.
Parenting is a great example of a type of work which is pretty unglamorous. There are no accolades or praise for doing it well, there are no parenting oscars. There’s nothing unique or original about becoming a parent and society doesn’t really prize it highly…
and yet…
it is up there with one of the most fulfilling things we can do with our lives.
“Parenting is all joy and no fun,” says Louise Perry.
It was while learning the everyday ins and outs of caring for Ethan and Hannah that reminded me of the simple truth that purpose is not about prominence. We don’t have to lead extraordinary or unique lives in order to experience them as meaningful, purposeful and fulfilling.
The nose on your face is prominent, but it is not anywhere near as significant as your heart. So it is with the types of activities and investments that make our lives meaningful and purposeful.
Following Jesus’ example and teaching of doing good deeds in secret, Christians throughout the ages have kept what’s called “the practice of obscurity”. In order to cultivate this reality, they would seek out times of solitude, and sometimes actively avoid fame and recognition.
“If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval,” said Epictetus, “realize that you have compromised your integrity. If you need a witness, be your own.”
In this world where influencers and impressions seem to take the day, we all need reminding of these simple truths about purpose:
Purpose doesn’t have to be seen or remembered
Purpose doesn’t have to be unique or special
Purpose doesn’t have to “make a dent in the universe”
Purpose doesn’t have to pay well
Purpose doesn’t have to be understood by others
Purpose doesn’t have to be glamorous
Remind yourself of these truths about purpose today, and ask “am I allowing these ideas to keep me from doing the work that matters; the work that I’m meant to do and the work that I really love?
Godspeed,
TMo