Diving into Dharma with Jay Shetty
To live intentionally, we must dig to the deepest why behind the want. This requires pausing to think not only about why we want something, but also who we are or need to be to get it, and whether being that person appeals to us.
— Jay Shetty
It might not seem like the most relevant book from the title, but after receiving Jay Shetty’s Think Like a Monk as a Christmas gift from my lovely sister I discovered that it has a lot to say about purpose.
So let’s look at some of the key ideas and best quotes from the book to see what we can learn from it.
IN A SENTENCE
It’s difficult to summarize this book, as it’s more a collection of ideas under a loose theme of what it means to think like a monk; and even then, it’s not clear what his criteria was for inclusion or exclusion.
But the message that stood out to me was something like: monks think with intention and attention, so find your Dharma (your calling) and offer it in service to others to find a meaningful and fulfilling life that can withstand the difficulties of what life throws at you.
KEY IDEAS
Jay introduces the idea of Dharma as a combination of passion + expertise + usefulness.
It seems that Jay has his own (highly translated) interpretation of this broadly defined word, which has multiple meanings across Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism and others. So, for now, we will just have to accept Jay’s interpretation to see what we can get out of it.
We’ve spoken about combining aptitude and attitude before. But Jay has a really interesting description:
“Everyone has a psychophysical nature which determines where they flourish and thrive. Dharma is using this natural inclination, the things you’re good at, your thrive mode, to serve others. You should feel passion when the process is pleasing and your execution is skillful. And the response from others should be positive, showing that your passion has purpose. This is the magic formula for dharma.
…If we’re only excited when people say nice things about our work, it’s a sign that we’re not passionate about the work itself. And if we indulge our interests and skills, but nobody responds to them, then our passion is without purpose. If either piece is missing, we’re not living our dharma.”
Well, so far so good. No surprises here really. I think if you asked someone in the street whether they wanted to find work that combined their passion, skills and usefulness together, they would say of course! This also bears a strong resemblance to the popular Ikigai charts that people draw featuring concentric circles that combine what you’re good at, with what you care about and what the world needs.
The main difference here is the language used.
I think it’s notable though, how direct Jay is about how service is a required aspect of finding your dharma - because service is vitally important and provides a necessary challenge to any ideas we might have that success itself is what brings fulfillment.
In fact, I am happy that this is something that he hits at directly:
“When I ask people to write down their goals, they often give answers describing what most people think of as success. We think that success equals happiness, but this idea is an illusion. When we let achievements and acquisitions determine our course, we’re living in the illusion that happiness comes from external measures of success, but all too often we find that when we finally get what we want, when we find success, it doesn’t lead to happiness.
Happiness and fulfillment come only from mastering the mind and connecting with the soul—not from objects or attainments. Success doesn’t guarantee happiness, and happiness doesn’t require success. They can feed each other, and we can have them at the same time, but they are not intertwined.
Purpose and meaning, not success, lead to true contentment. When we understand this, we see the value of being motivated by duty and/or love. When you act out of duty and love, you know that you are providing value.”
He then expands on this with the quadrants of potential, designed to help us think about how we can spend more of our lives combining our skills and passion together. His exploration of how we might move between these quadrants is quite helpful.
The next section is a personality test of sorts, called dharma profiles, which offer four varnas - four personality types: The leader, the creator, the maker and the guide. I think this exercise could be useful for some people to get started thinking about what kind of work they enjoy, but it’s so reductive I’ve decided to leave it out of this summary and I don’t see myself using it in future.
So, on the whole, although these are not new ideas for me, I think Jay has a very helpful way of putting them. I also spoke to my neighbour about this book and I was glad to see that she was finding it totally inspiring. Have you read it? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
OTHER GREAT QUOTES
Money and mansions are not the only wealth. Hoard the wealth of the spirit. Character is wealth: good conduct is wealth; and spiritual wisdom is wealth.
When we perform work with the conviction that what we do matters, we can live intensely. Without a reason for moving forward, we have no drive. When we live intentionally—with a clear sense of why what we do matters—life has meaning and brings fulfillment. Intention fills the car with gas.
External goals cannot fill internal voids.
There are two lies some of us hear when we’re growing up. The first is ‘you’ll never amount to anything.’ The second is ‘you can be anything you want to be.’ The truth is— You can’t be anything you want. But you can be everything you are.
Instead of making a huge career change, you can try my approach: look for opportunities to do what you love in the life you already have.
The intention with which we approach our work has a tremendous impact on the meaning we gain from it and our personal sense of purpose. Learn to find meaning now, and it will serve you all your life.
The externals will never be perfect, and the goal isn’t perfection. Life is not going to go your way. You have to go your way and take life with you.
KEY TAKEAWAY
Reading back through my notes, I can see that I got most out of the sections around purpose and intention. I will take away some great quotes and a greater commitment to the foundational importance for each of us to find a vocation for purpose and meaning in our lives. A full life is a life lived intentionally, with attention.
RECOMMENDATION
I was frustrated by the format of this book. By the end, I was left wondering - but what about God? Monks dedicate their lives and minds to God, so to not even mention it in this book seems like a huge omission. I can’t help but feel that this typifies a cherry-picking of the most palatable aspects of monasticism for a western, self-help audience, and the book is worse off for not addressing it.
Despite my frustration with this, Jay Shetty is at his strongest when talking about purpose. It’s friendly, accessible and practical; which is a hard line to balance. So, some good stuff in there, with very practical exercises too!
Godspeed,
T Mo